My Life

I just got done reading a book and was just staring at the ceiling and thinking about how blessed my life is. Just life in general. I wake up every morning with the chance to make myself into the person I want to be or just to be the person I am and its ok either way. I get to look into the eyes of my awsome husband who can always make me laugh and gives me everything in his power to make me happy. I have three adorable children who are the light of my life but at times can drive me crazy! All the things that happen to me (good or bad) I believe happen for a reason. And I am thankful for all those things!

Sleeping in my bed

Monday night is Brett's last night working graves!! I'm so grateful that he got this promotion. When Brett is at work I sleep on the couch because I can't stand sleeping downstairs by myself. But no more!! Brett is switching to days so I will get to sleep in my bed at night!! I'm excited, I haven't gotten much sleep lately. Gage likes to sleep walk and comes out into the front room. Brett even said he would wake up if the kids woke up in the middle of the night. He is the greatest husband ever!!

I'm grateful for.....

weight loss!! Yippee! I think since I have been in a better mood lately it seems to be affecting my weight in a good way. I don't know how much I have lost but I did need to go buy new pants because my other ones were too big!! Yippee! Maybe I will be swimsuit ready by mid spring (or when it's warm enough to wear a swim suit) And I don't really think that my more positive attitude is making me lose weight. But because I'm in a better mood, I eat better and have been working out on a semi-regular basis, I'm just excited!

I feel free!!

For the first time in awhile I have felt a great burden lifted from me and it feels so good. It's about being something I'm not and I've just gotten tired of it. I was beating myself up because I wasn't doing what someone else thought I should. And with it came lots of guilt. I wasn't being a good mom or wife or member of the church. But when I realized I don't need that guilt in my life right now. I have enough as it is. So I can't drop my kids or husband so I decided to drop church. I still agree with the doctrine, it's the church itself that is making my life not what I want. I start to feel bad that I don't go to church or pray or read my scriptures or take my kids or read to them or teach them about the church. Then I get lots of guilt and it depresses me more. So I have decided that for right now, I'm not going to worry about church. In the future who knows what's going to happen. But this is the one thing that I can drop without hurting my family or myself. I know some of you won't agree with me and that's ok that's your opinion. But for me I need to do this so that I can work on other things that are more important to me. I'm not leaving the church, I'm just stepping back for a little bit to reevaluate my life. But right now I haven't felt this good in a long time and I like it!!

I need to be grateful for something

It's been tough the past week to think of something to be grateful for. But I finally figured it out.
About a year and a half ago we were thinking about buying the building we live in and becoming rental property owners. We tried to get financing and no matter what we did it just wasn't going to work. I know now that it all happenend for a reason. Brett and I are so grateful that we don't own this building. After having to deal with horrendous (sp?) people we realize that no one will take care of something that isn't theirs. So I am grateful that we have come to the realization that we will NEVER own property so some one else can destroy it because they were never taught how to handle things that are not theirs. I am grateful that we learned this lesson without having to go thru actually purchasing the building. Brett and I always wondered why the owner didn't go after people or update his properties or even seem like he didn't care. But now we know! There is no point in making an apartment nice because people will destroy all of your hardwork without even a second thought.