I feel free!!

For the first time in awhile I have felt a great burden lifted from me and it feels so good. It's about being something I'm not and I've just gotten tired of it. I was beating myself up because I wasn't doing what someone else thought I should. And with it came lots of guilt. I wasn't being a good mom or wife or member of the church. But when I realized I don't need that guilt in my life right now. I have enough as it is. So I can't drop my kids or husband so I decided to drop church. I still agree with the doctrine, it's the church itself that is making my life not what I want. I start to feel bad that I don't go to church or pray or read my scriptures or take my kids or read to them or teach them about the church. Then I get lots of guilt and it depresses me more. So I have decided that for right now, I'm not going to worry about church. In the future who knows what's going to happen. But this is the one thing that I can drop without hurting my family or myself. I know some of you won't agree with me and that's ok that's your opinion. But for me I need to do this so that I can work on other things that are more important to me. I'm not leaving the church, I'm just stepping back for a little bit to reevaluate my life. But right now I haven't felt this good in a long time and I like it!!