The gospel

Since it is Sunday I think it would be appropriate that my next blessing be the gospel. This may be a long post but in the end I promise it will be worth it.

Growing up my parents were what you would call inactive or jack mormons. My dad would read to us from the Book of Mormon but we didn't go to church or anything. The missionaries would come over alot and our home teachers too but we never went to church. Fast forward to high school. I had a friend named Lael and would always invite me to go to church or go to mutual but I never went. I told her I knew enough about the church that I didn't want to be a part of it. (boy was I wrong, I didn't know anything about the church!) Fast forward again, to about 5 years ago. Brett and I are married and Khloe is coming soon. We stay up one night talking about the church. He wants me to take the discussions. I do it just to learn more about the church. I had NO intention of getting baptized.

We had some great missionaries, obviously since I am now baptized. One event changed my whole life. One of the missionaries was reading the first vision and while he was reading it I got the burning in my chest. I looked over to the thermostat to make sure Brett wasn't cranking the heat up. He wasn't just sitting on the couch listening. This burning feeling consumed my whole body. And I fought it the whole time. When the Elder got done reading he looked at me and asked if I felt anything. I could not give in this easy, I didn't want to be mormon, all those rules to follow. I wasn't going to have that, so I told him no I didn't feel anything. He kinda said "oh" and went on to the next subject. It was not that easy for me. I thought about what had happened for days. They I thought about getting baptized, could I actually do it and live my life the way I was supposed to. I had been waiting for this my whole life. I had been searching for some higher meaning, I studied multiple religions and nothing was right. The more I thought about the LDS church, the more I knew this was what I was waiting for. So I made my decision to get baptized. When I told Brett we were on the way to my little brother's college graduation. He just about drove off the road. We had to get some things straightened out and Brett was the one who baptized me. I will forever be indebted to him for that. That was July of 2004

In December of 2006 I received my endowments from the bountiful temple and a week later Brett and I were sealed for all time and eternity. Khloe was also sealed to us. It was such a powerful time. Brett and I went to the temple together in January of 2007 to do a session. While we were in the Celestial room I was praying about my parents. And they just popped into my head. I could see them so clearly and they were waving and smiling at me. I was such a moving experience. I know they are happy with my decision to become a member of the church.

Right now I am struggling with my church attendance. Brett no longer knows if the church is true so he doesn't go to church anymore. I know one day he will come back but until that day I can only support him in what he wants to do. I try to go to church and teach the kids, but I fail miserably at it. I can't deny the Prophet Joseph Smith, that burning in my chest was just to powerful. And since I can't deny him, I can't deny the Book of Mormon. It's just hard to follow commandments. I know you are saying, "How hard is it to go to church, read your scriptures and pray everyday." If you haven't been doing it your whole life, it is hard. And I figured out why they have church stuff thru out the week and why you should go to church every Sunday, It's difficult to do things on your own with no support.

So in ending, I love the gospel. I know my life would be better and more harmonious if I would follow the commandments. I would be the greatest mom and the most wonderful wife. And for some odd reason, that's not enough motivation. I have been blessed because in the past I have followed the commandments. I know Heavenly Father will not punish me but he won't bless me if I don't follow the commandments. But it's a new year and I think I've started off right!